Gemma's story

When it comes to losing part of ourselves, whether that be losing your sight, hearing, speech or for me, part of my brain, it permanently changes us. This is the big, scary truth about identity loss. There is no such thing as ‘getting over it’, which many expect us to do. Did you know that the five stages of the grief model mark universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger; a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. For me, there is no ‘back to the old me.’ I am different now, full stop. And guess what? …I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

When I was younger, I was a passenger in a road traffic accident. I came out of the top part of my safety belt, subsequently hitting my head. I was air-lifted to hospital for an emergency craniotomy, which meant that the one side of my skull was removed. I was in a coma for some time, it took me a long time to recognise people, and I was paralysed down the right side of my body. Later into my recovery I was diagnosed with Dipoplia. I was given a patch to wear to manage my double vision and the hallucinations that I was experiencing; I often walked into things because I had very little spatial awareness, seeing two of everything. I’d often display an impressive collection of bruises on my legs, and don’t even get me started on the pirate jokes! 

I rocked an eye patch for 10 months, along with a walker and a classy hospital gown that just about covered my bum, but luckily my pants were as classy as my gown! – you either laugh or cry! I was really lucky that my sight corrected itself and that pirate’s patch really did do the job. I mean, don’t get me wrong, my wonky walking continues, I still walk into things and I still have my collection of bruises to show off, but a sense of humour is a wonderful thing!   

I have learnt to never underestimate the power of the human spirit. I re-learnt to do everything again – from walking to talking to seeing the world as I do now, which isn’t the same as it was; it’s far more beautiful and I appreciate literally everything around me. I am so much more grateful for the little things we often take for granted. I learnt that I had to be positive. Sure I had to do things differently, but it was never going to be impossible. I wouldn’t let anything else in except positivity – the ‘I can’ approach, and when your thoughts filter through with this mindset, there is no way you can do anything but find greatness in tragedy.